The Audacity Of It All
Dear Pointless Old Lover,
The audacity of it all. The big britches you think you’ve left to fill. You really think that there’s no way that I’d find anyone like you. You made it clear that you’d taken the bar with you when we agreed that things were over.
Sure, who will I find that could lie to me like you did? Who could I let into my life that would betray my trust in as many ways as you did? Who else would force me into roles that I didn’t want to play? Who else would start dating my nephew’s mother less than a month after we broke up? Who else would blame me for all of those things? How can you blame me for making you date my brother’s girlfriend while they were still living together? How can you even begin to make that my fault?
You’re such a winner. Oh, that was the wrong word. I think I was looking for moron. You’re such a moron.
When I think of you holding my nephew like he’s your son, I throw up a little bit. When I start to miss you, I think of the way that you look at the mother of my kin like she’s me, and I can’t help but let everything bubble up and out. Otherwise it might fester inside of me and grow like a cancer.
It threatened to do that when I was looking for a picture for this post on this blog, and I saw a picture that I took of the two of you together. It made me sick. So I decided to write a letter to you in a public forum and talk about what a giant duche you are.
It’s funny. I forgave you for everything until a few weeks ago. It was cool that you lied to me. It was fine that you picked her over me. We were all better off. But then you had the audacity to tell me that you still had the same feelings for me as you did when I was an administrative assistant. How dare you say that kind of thing to me when you’re with another woman. Then, you had the audacity to say that this was all my fault. Then you had the audacity to send me a drunken text message about how I would never do better because I’m selfish. You’re a pr*ck.
I can’t be sure that you wanted to leave me with so much baggage that no one else would want me. I’m not sure if you did it on purpose. When the conversation veers towards talking about exes, I’ll just start to pretend that I set you two up. I mean, you say it was all because of me anyway. I might as well be able to take credit for the happy couple. I wish you nothing but the… well, I wish you nothing.
You’re right. I hope that I never find anyone like you ever again. I hope that I never find anyone with the audacity to be such a blatant jacka**, such an insignificant j*rk *ff, and such a hopeless piece of sh*t.
Love,
Corinne